51. Country Lovin’, Self Pleasuring and an Old Flame

07 May

Life in the country is cute.  Something happened to me during my week away that made me feel like I had been transported into “Little House on the Prairie”.  In a cute floral frock.  I believe it’s called sharing.

On my first day there my neighbor (also caretaker of the 8 acres we were all sharing) waltzed up to my place with a little tub of hot miso soup.  What a damned cutie.  I don’t know about you guys but where I am from, neighbors bringing you cute little warm things in tubs for dinner is definitely something out of a movie.  Well, I was so moved by his loving gesture that a few nights later, I told him I would be making a curry and asked if he would like to partake.  Damned straight he would.  He aint no fool.

So with pumpkin, spinach and basil, fresh from the garden, I smashed my way into exotic curry bliss.  He even went down and picked me a little choko to throw in too.  And we ate it together on the outdoor bench at sunset, overlooking the rolling hills.  The next day he hit me with some bananas fresh from the tree, ripe and ready to munch.  Well, this overwhelmed me with love and made me channel my inner Better Crocker/house wife/ cooking show legend and, acting as though I had done it a thousand times before I started throwing ingredients together into a frikken banana delight.

I would like to note here that it is crucial to not get overly attached to outcomes in these processes.  In theory I was making banana bread.  What resulted was the best damned banana pudding you have ever had the pleasure to throw down.  Hot and crunchy on top and warm and gooey below.  Overwhelmingly proud with my new identity as country kitchen wizard, I was keen to share my goods with my new giving comrade.  Well, he was ready to go and slammed his down with double thickened cream.  (As I said, he aint no fool!!!) and then he gave me some of his salmon quiche cooked in his wood pizza oven.

The point is that I personally had forgotten the simple heart opening joy of sharing things with no expectation with relative strangers, just because it feels good.  I had forgotten that that is actually our nature, who we are and that our souls delight in the simple pleasure of gentle unattached kindness.

I should also mention here that the last David Deida tantra book I read was called “The Enlightened Sex Manual” and sweet mother of God, I am in quiet awe as to what may unfold in my future love life as a result of reading this puppy.  If I may, a note on masturbation: 🙂

I am a fan of the orgasm.  And, I thought that I had a few clues about my body, and self pleasuring at the age of 38.  But I did not know the transformational and mind blowing joy available when one opens to … breathing.  I don’t mean deep breathing.  I mean, breathing energy through the roof of your head, down the front of your body and into your groin and then exhaling it by shooting it up your spine back into your head whilst pulling up your pelvic floor muscles.  The idea is that you breathe in and out through your nose, keeping your tongue lightly on the roof of your mouth and that you continue this rhythmically, building energy inside your body.  The aim is to transform the energy of an orgasm from happening only in your genitals and instead pull it up through your spine and to shoot it through your body and into your brain.

Well this all sounds like a good theory until you try it and then go “Sweet baby Jesus!  Has all this pleasure been available to me all along?”  I felt like I had just discovered I’d been eating generic brand cookies when I could have been having the top shelf double fudge variety with fresh hand made swiss chocolate chunks, hand rolled by Belgian monks!!  Also, it made my regular masturbation orgasms seem like a toddler tottering in on mummas heels.  Clumsy, a little awkward and as clueless as a gazelle playing Pictionary.  This new version felt like I was some damned vixen/ love maiden totally opening up to whole new concepts of pleasure.  Light bursting through my body, filling me completely.  Energy soaring out of me in union with all.  And this was on my second try, with what he called a level one orgasm. God fucking help me.

So in this case, my friends, do try this bad boy out at home and discover the sweet difference for yourself.  For guys, I will note here that David Deida says the idea is to actually not ejaculate but to build the energy and then shoot it up your body in the same way.  He reckons this can take some retraining (maybe 1-4 months) but when relearned, oh baby, oh baby!  Then he reckons guys simply need to ejaculate about once a month or so to rebalance their system.

As for me, I am now staying with a ‘friend’ for about 10 days.  I would like to point out that this is a ‘friend’ that I have previously kissed, very passionately, for hours, and was on the way to falling in love with several years ago before he ran in fear of what we could become.  And it has taken us time to build up to our now kinda steady friendship again (with a small semi trailer load of unspoken stuff about attraction and the fact that we have both grabbed one another in very friendly ways).

I will say this:  If you want a solid challenge, read 5 tantra books and then move in with someone that you have repeatedly though about fucking, someone whose kisses were so sweet that they made you groan out loud.  And commit to opening opening opening rather than shutting up like a sad vault.  So far, two nights in, it’s all very PG.  Chatting, eating chocolate, big hugs.  I am not prepared to bet my life that the rating will stay this way after 10 days.  We shall see…


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2 responses to “51. Country Lovin’, Self Pleasuring and an Old Flame

  1. emma

    October 7, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    ….. so what happened…??? need to know the outcome! did you think the book worked? 🙂

  2. Calling in the One Journal

    October 7, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    Hiya Emma! Well well well…. I would like to admit that whilst I have the will power of a fine young Ox, I was not strong enough to resist a night of incredible passion with my friendly pash friend. After an amazing week of intimate, long, fun filled conversations, I moved out of his house, and into mine. (Damn I love a boundary!) Then I was ready to lure him into my bed. 🙂 No sex but shit loads of everything else. No sleep. A delightful floodgate of touch and sensuality until 11 am. I know in my heart that we are not right as a forever, but I think we really helped one another open more into softness. So… in short, do I think the book has worked? We will see what happens.

    I just went on one of the most sparkly new dates I have ever been on. Laughter, joy, connection. All the gooduns. He even walked me to my car when I left. I think he may be an actual gentleman. We will see! But if you like, I’ll keep you posted. One thing I can say for sure, is the book, calling in the one and the tantra books have torn me apart from the inside out and there are men now that I simply wouldn’t even consider. Not because there is anything wrong with them, but because I know who I am and choose to be with someone who sees my light. Stay tuned bella xxx with love, Ariella


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